ENG: Diary - Ciel D'enfer - 1

First entry

I grew up in a city. Everlund of the Silvermarks. My father was an honest business man and because of his work he had a good chance for the city to be elected to the council of the six elders. Mother was good-hearted, even though she lost her ability to born any other children after my own birth. She tried to keep me always on the right path. And I think I have chosen the right path nonetheless. But let's start from the beginning of my story.

My childhood was marked by many new friends, new toys and things that my parents brought me when they came back from their journies. At that time father was a traveling salesman and he saw many areas in the silver marks and even outside it. Once he was visiting the Moonshae-Islands and had absolutely wonderful stories to tell. I was living a quiet life, got a private teacher very early and was accompanied into the streetby my own bodyguards. My parents did everything to protect me, even though it was hardly anything here before you had to be protected, except for the trolls, giants, and the forest itself. Yeah, the forest was the biggest problem but everyone who had even tried to explore it had never turned back. At least that's what they told us.

It was a warm summer day and at noon, the clouds moved in together about Everlund. The traders brought their goods quickly to safety, only that nothing would be drenched by the rain and I stood on the marketplace my two guards left and right of me. Kyrian and Mark. I've always found that Mark was a stupid name, and he was the perfect example of this. Muscled and big. Dark brown hair, broad face, and what he had in his arms was missing him in his head. Kyrian on the other hand, was different. He often told jokes to cheer me up when we need to go hom again too soon, and Mark with his rough voice laughed about them although he did not understand. Why am I so sure that he did not ... An example ...

"A hunter and a Ranger," said Kyrian with his soft melodic voice, "met to hunt and set off into the forest. Parted, and soon you saw the hunter it rustle in the undergrowth." Mark and I were quiet as a mouse. None of us ever wanted to interrupt Kyrian in his stories. "So the hunter put an arrow on the bowstring as aimed, and fired. Whereupon it was quiet in the undergrowth. Hastily he went there to see what he had killed. It was the Rangers, whom he had met to go hunt." Mark laughed roaring. Kyrian and I just looked at each other and he stroked his long fiery red hair back to tie it up again. "I was not yet finished Mark."
Mark stopped and looked at him, grinning. "Sorry..." he growled, with his bear voice.
"So ... The Ranger had been hit hard, and so the hunter brought him back to Everlund and then immediately to a medic. This guy looked at the Rangers and then drove the hunter to indignation: 'Why did you skin him after you shot him?! "
I laughed with Kyrian. And after a few seconds, the grumpy laughter from Mark joined this and Kyrian, Mark and I started to laugh at Mark. It was a beautiful time.

But on that day it happened exactly what I've never thought could become possible. Well at least, I thought it could be possible, but not believed that there would happen such a thing in Everlund.
A caravan arrived on the marketplace and two clowns left the first wagon and began to shout their advertisements loudly: "Hear this, hear me! This evening and the following evening we are playing for you to amuse you! We will show you the art of storytelling, dancing and singing. And we will also offer you food and drink, for only one piece of silver!"
I smiled about those jugglers. But then... she came.
She was an angel. Breathtakingly beautiful and elegantly dressed. And while Mark was still laughing Kyrian noticed her as well. He was older than me, probably 20, I was yet only 17 ... and I didn't have the charisma like he did. We both Kyrian and me were lost in her golden eyes, her skin looked like white sand so soft and then this silk silvery hair. Simply beautiful. Kyrian cuffed me to the side and then punched Mark in the shoulder. "Let's watch this today. Would be something special for sure." I nodded and looked at him, grinning. "Thank you for the invite." We laughed together and went back home. Tonight would be a beautiful evening.

~

The time had come and after a pleasant hour of training with Kyrian I was so energetic that the evening could only be a total success. Mark Kyrian and accompanied me to the marketplace, where the jugglers were still preparing the show. They had built a small stage and placed several rows of benches in front of it. Around the stage were some torches lit and the rain of the afternoon had turned into a nearly cloudless sky.

About Everlund was the smell of serenity, and everyone forgot about their worries of everyday life for a short time. Kyrian and I sat down on the first bench, Mark took a seat one row behind us and muttered softly to himself, started up the show. It was nothing special. Unlike my father always told me, this was not a rehearsed stage play but very free improvisation for the normal folks. Many of the stories seemed to come from distant countries. One of them was the story of a red wizard from Tai, who killed a Leviathan. These stories were accompanied by the dance of a few members of the caravan who were dressed in the most wonderful and exotic costumes.
But throughout the evening, we didn't see the angel.
We didn't know her name or who exactly she was, but we knew that she was not seen this evening with her grace and beauty. And it felt somehow strange to us.
"And so we want to thank you," the two clowns agreed in a shout to the audience, "for watching our show."
"Perhaps it'll stay in you mind, what we guess for pretty sure."
"But look over there!" the first one shouted and pointed behind the rows of spectators. Everyone turned and saw the figure in a white cloak with a hood pulled low over her face. Slowly she walked up to the platform on which the torches were removed and then it was only the moon, which dropped its pale light down from the sky. In the twilight you could see that the mantle was stripped off her shoulders and long bright hair fell loose over her shoulders. A murmur went through the crowd, drowning out the faint whisper.
Then it happened. At first there were only small sparks that flew through the night-sky.
But then it started to became the most wonderful colors, which were driven up to the sky above our heads like a rainbow. Meanwhile, a chair in front of the grandstage was erected, on which a bard took a seat to strat playing his song. It sounded strange, wild, passionate and full of fire. Just as fiery as the rest of the performance. The hands of our angel went up in flames and as she danced, she whirled around and the fire went around her like a second coat, dyed her light hair and white dress in a bright warm red. I had rarely seen such a thing and a brief look at Kyrian, whose eyes had never shone so bright as it was in this very moment revealed to me. But like everything in life, also this dance passed by and the torches were lit again. They bowed and earned thunderous applause. "We thank the delightful Sheluna for her performance of a dance in the sense of the Godess Sune." She bowed and earned a surprising number of coins.
Then the people started to walk back home and Kyrian leaned over to me. He smiled boldly and whispered to me with his cheerful voice: "Go home. I'll join you later." Mark muttered only for approval and laid a hand on my shoulder to enforce my way back home. A look over my shoulder allowed me to see Kyrians auburn hair vanishing into a hand full of people. I murmured silently to myself and looked up at Mark, who followed, however, stubbornly Kyrians order and took me home.
He pushed me through the portal and only when I stopped at the locked main gate my arms crossed over my chest, he looked down at me and asked me: "Eh, dude... wassup huh?"
"I was not supposed to be gone."
"Naah. That's not bad at all. You can go'out again t'morrow."
"Yeah. ... But tomorrow is my birthday... and... it's after midnight so...it's tomorrow, right? Then now it's my birthday and you want to give me a present don't you?"
It was so damn easy to influence Mark. He grunted in agreement just as expected.
"See? So you'll give me the present that I can now go back to the festival back."
The deep hum of Mark probably meant that he was not satisfied with this idea. In fact it was against Kyrians own order. "I'll com' with ya.... Okay?."
I sighed, but then nodded. "Fine, but stay away from me. I'm now an adult."

I walked back the way to the marketplace surprisingly quick, but I wanted to see her again. Just one more time. Just to thank her for this spectacle and especially her dance. But when I arrived, the place had already been emptied. There were hardly any people to see. Only one of the juggler leaned against the car and to smoke a pipe.
"Excuse me, do you know where to find the actress Sheluna?" I asked him. He gave me a brief critical glance, pointing to the river bank. There I saw in the darkness against the light of torches two people. Then they went away and soon they disappeared from my view by hiding behind the bank. I wanted to pursue them, but carefully I looked around before doing so and easily discovered Mark, as he was helping two magicians with carrying away the benches. As soundless as possible I sneaked to the bank and tried to cover in the darkness of a bridge. They didn't notice me. However, I was able to see everything they did. My stomach felt sick when I saw how Kyrian dropped a small bag filled with coins onto her lap, she laughed heartily and then joined him in his arms. It was not a friendly embrace that I saw. There was more. Much more and I was not able to avoid to look at them.
I was nauseated when I realized what passion was lived and how amused they were.
They romped around, rolling on the river bank, and both seemed to be very near to each other. I swallowed hard and only after an felt eternity in which I had tucked in the shadow of the bridge, I could manage to turn away and run back home right over the marketplace. Just before I got there, I eased my stomach contents in the bushes of a little par next to my home. Mark found me there. And this was the first time that I was very happy he said nothing and just brought me home.

~

The next morning, after I had slept incredibly bad and thought it would be the most horrible birthday of my life, I knocked on Kyrians door. The sun didn't even peak over the horizon and it was surprisingly quiet at home.
Well, today was still my 18th birthday.
He opened the door and looked sleepily at me. He was naked and seemed to be still tired. His hand stroke through his disheveled hair where a strand of grass was still "alive" from yesterday. My eyes met his, and almost immediately I was angry again. I tried to open the door that was blocked by his foot. That finally woke him up.
"What's wrong with you?"
"I want you to train me!" I prevailed on him. "Now!"
"Fine... but that's no reason to wake me up that early."
They say ... "One glare is more worth than a thousand words." ... and somehow I think he just got a clue how I felt when he saw my eyes, at least measured by how he looked at me. Then he just nodded, slipped into his pants and took me out into the garden. The house was still soundless.

As usually I started with the first hit. It was only his fists against mine, then the lower arms, elbows, and then again from the beginning. Just the usual rotation. He blocked, intercepted and evaded every single try of mine to hit him and so I tried it even more energetic. Until ...
"Stop!"
I tried to hit him again.
"I said Stop! Don't you listen?"
I lashed out with the fist and struck in his direction. He just grabbed my hand.
"What's wrong with you?" His ice-blue eyes looked at me and were an exact contradiction to his fiery red hair.
"Nothing," was my answer, but he kept my hand, even when I tried to get it free again.
"Is this meant to be nothing? Talk to me! Or do you want me to believe that I didn't notice? I'm your freakin' friend!"
A bitter laugh that scared me in the very moment when if came up from my own throat, made me totally silent within one second.
"What's wrong with you ...", his voice again was so damn quiet and gentle. He pulled me towards him in a single motion and put his strong hands on my shoulders to look me in the eyes. But I remained silent, looking down, trying to collect my thoughts again. The pictures from yesterday came up again.
"Is it because I did not congratulate you?"
I was examining the ground pretty much, and didn't even twitch. No, it wasn't.
"Did you not like the show yesterday?"
Something inside me tied up my throat, and I tore myself away with a clever move, as he had often shown me.
"Oh, leave me alone. I've had enough training." I threw to him and disappeared in my room for the rest of the day.

~

Only at night, I dared again to leave my room. My parents, mother and even father tried to come into my room, but I just denied. Kyrian did not come. And in the evening I called Mark with help of one of the maidens and Mark went to the festival-site with me. It was right before the show. Even from the distance I saw the red hair in the sunset of a certain person and ran through the crowd away from Mark, towards to him. He talked ... with HER. Again, he pressed a bag of gold into her hands and he earned a kiss.
The anger that I had repressed all day long was now building up again into my chest and started to boil heavily. He turned to me and smiled at me kindly. However, she looked at me and something in her eyes told me that she saw something different than he did.
Kyrian came to me and put a friendly arm around me while I was boiling inside.
"Nice that you got out of your room. You want to watch the spectacle don't you?"
I was able to nod. Not more. Slowly, he took me to the place in the first row and we took a seat. Mark sat as always behind us and leaned forward to have a better look. Of course it was a nice show, just as the day before. But this time Kyrian didn't send me away from the place when the show was over. He just put an arm around my shoulder and punched me softly. "Come, I've got something for your birthday. Perhaps it cheers you up a little bit."
Mark stayed with the at the festival-site and we both got in distance to him, heading in the direction of her car, which she had entered after her dance. He opened the door and made a welcoming gesture in the twilight, that was barely visible from outside the caravan.
But I stopped. He sighed, rolled his eyes and stepped into the car. "Come on. You don't have to worry." He whispered to me. My anger had disappeared and I almost wanted to really know what he wanted to give me. Maybe ... But no, that was completely absurd.
As I entered the car, he closed his door behind me and I stood in the darkness. My heart beat up to the neck and strangled me. I swallowed hard to remove the blockade, but it didn't help at all. He stood in front of me. I could only see him vaguely, but I could feel him and smell him even by the smell of flowers in here.
Then it creaked, and he moved away from me.
Something rustled and I realized that he had pushed some cloth-thing to the side. A soft light filtered through the room and helped my eyes to see more. And then I saw it. He stood in front of a bed. Now more a place to sleep but very cozy and... she was lying there. The angel with the pale skin, golden hair and amber eyes. She looked at me and smiled, gave me a wave to come nearer.
But I was not able to move anyway.
That's it? He wanted to give me? A WHORE?

From that moment my memory is very foggy. Sheluna told me everything on the journey from Everund through the Silvermarks to Deepwater.

I should have become pale. And have just stared at Kyrian. Then I should have screamed and yelled at him. He came up to me, has probably tried to calm me down, but I started to push him away. Then there was a struggle in her car. He caught my shirt and wanted to hold me. But I managed to storm out of the car. The shirt tore. Kyrian ran after me and called my name as I wanted to run away, so I stopped and turned around, facing him. I opened my mouth and shouted at him: "You are blind Kyrian! You don't even see the people you hurt! Do you think you can do whatever you want with everyone?! Do you think this is just a game?!"
I turned away and went a step further. Then I stopped and turned back again. I raised my hand and pointed at him. "For me, you're DEAD!" I prevailed on him and a shadowy lightning shot out of my fingertips to chest. He stared at me totally surprised. All other people were watching us and saw what I couldn't see.
On my back appeared a symbol black as the night and pulsating. It was a pentagramm with a probably demonic symbol on top.
Kyrian broke down and around me the first screams started. They yelled that I was a demon, possessed a spawn of hell, a devil. They called the guards. And so I ran away from this place to hide in one of the small forests within the city walls.

The next morning I woke up and lay in her bed. I was tied up, obviously to her own safety. She looked at me, totally silent and then her calm voice started to speak.
"It leaves marks on you."
I frowned and she shook her head. Then she reached to the side and picked up a bag, threw it to me on the bed.
"Your mother must love you very much. She has paid us very well, just that we take care for you for a while and take you away from your old home. At last you did not hide yourself very well. It was easy to find you and pick you up. However, for your fathers guards too."
She rose and walked up to me, went before me on my knees and ran her warm hands on the cheek.
"You don't know what you've done. Don't you? You don't know why you're half naked. Am I right?" I shook my head and she told me... everything. After that, I broke down.
It was all black, when I began to understand what I've done and the tears of anger, sadness and despair came over me.

What have I done...


Ciel D'Enfer